September 2009 Article
Choose A/B/C

Most people get frustrated when their plan of action or problem solution does not work out. That’s because people tend to think in terms of “one not three.” They adopt that “my way or the highway” attitude. The result of thinking in such terms is frustration which leads to anger. Why do that to yourself? You are creating your own anger situation by the way you are thinking. What do I always say about your thinking? Yes, that’s right. You are in charge of your thinking and you can change it anytime you want. So let’s take a look at how you can stop your frustration resulting in anger by thinking in terms of “three and not one.”

When you think in terms of “one” that means that you only have one plan of action or solution and that’s the only plan or solution that will be acceptable to you. However, when you think in terms of “three,” you devise three different plans or solutions any one of which will be acceptable. You begin to teach yourself to generate three alternatives for every action you want to take or problem you want to solve. Yes, more time and energy are spent on the issue. In the long run, though, it conserves time and energy that you might have spent on being frustrated and angry. So it all evens out. Plus it keeps you in a positive frame of reference. When you think positive, you are happier.

Let me give you an example. My daughter called me one day this week and told me that she had pulled a muscle in her back and could not teach her classes at the fitness center. She had called the fitness center coordinator to ask him to get substitutes for her classes until her muscle could heal. She was wondering what to do if he could not get substitute fitness instructors for her classes. So instead of wasting valuable energy worrying about the issue, we decided to make plan A/B/C. Plan A would be that the fitness coordinator would find substitutes and she could rest her muscle for the week. Plan B would be that if no teachers were available for some of her classes, she would teach the classes by starting the exercise routine, but only demonstrating no more than two or three just to show them the sequence she wanted them to do. Plan C would be that if no teachers were available for some of her classes and she could not possibly demonstrate the exercise, she would ask one person who comes regularly to the class and knows her particular sequences to demonstrate while she talked the class through the entire hour. Any of these were acceptable to her. So she did not have to spend time worrying. She would just implement the plan that fit.

What other areas of life can this idea be used for? Let’s tackle a problem that most people get frustrated about; wasting time. Have you ever experienced people who are not timely? Let’s say that you have to wait on someone to see you to have a meeting? You could get frustrated and annoyed and then you are angry before you even see the person. So if you are in an angry frame of mind when you do get to talk, it throws off your mental sharpness. When that happens, it is less likely you will get to the goal of whatever you wanted to accomplish at the meeting. So instead of only having plan A: the person sees me at the appointed time. Make up plan B: I bring along some extra reading on whatever subject that I am going to be talking about and learn more before the person appears. Make up plan C: I use my phone to check and respond to e-mails and look up on the Internet that subject I wanted to review before my next meeting with another client. In other words, you make alternative plans for spending your time so you don’t waste it. Any of the above plans would be fine with you because you would like to see the person or you need to learn more information or you need to do some business work. You have used your “captured time” of waiting productively. Then you are in a good mind frame because you used your time wisely instead of pacing the floor wondering when the person was going to show up.

You can use A/B/C with weekend plans. You could use it with where to go for lunch. You could use it with what to wear when you get up in the morning. You could use it with how to plan your business day. You could use it with any decision you need to make, plan you need to devise, or problem you need to solve.

So you can choose A/B/C or not. When you choose to think in terms of “three” and not “one,” you will notice you do not waste time and energy. When you are not wasteful, you begin to feel your life is under your control. When your life is under your control, you have met one of the basic emotional needs. When you meet your need for control, you are more satisfied with your life. When you are more satisfied with your life, you are a happier person. So choose A/B/C.